Talking about the future briefly today with a friend (the immediate future, not the "everyone is immortal and robots rule the planet" future) and I was somewhat thrilled/disheartened to see that I wanted/expected to be someone who had to work so hard to make ends meet that everything else would end up fading away.

Not work three jobs a day hard (although that is a definite possibility) I mean that I'll have to work my ass off at drawing to the point where I'll have virtually no friends outside of co-workers (and since I'll probably be freelance...), will no longer travel at all, and possibly won't even have time for a significant other.

Now, this is a bit on the silly side. In actuality I don't see it getting to the point where I need to become a complete social hermit that never takes a break...

but I *want* to become that. Some part of me wishes I could flip a switch and simply work. Nonstop.

To improve endlessly, never being happy with what I do, but enjoying the exploration more than the final pieces.

Maybe it's just escapism talking? But I've felt this desire growing in me steadily for years now. And I do work harder, and longer than ever before.

And it really is the process that is enjoyable to me now. The final piece can be nice to look at for a few minutes, but inevitably is backed up and forgotten about unless needed.

...

I don't know, I guess I'm drawing alot this summer. Not nearly enough though.

And after all, this is the final summer.

Then I'm free of the seemingly eternal womb of education I've been in since pre-school.

Though I guess real education begins then? Eh, less expensive textbooks anyways.

Guess I'll end on some unfinished pictures.

(um... yay continuity with characters?)