I have theories on how to control the world's population as well as the correct way to judge yourself and others (and why!), but I'm far too tired to write them convincingly right now.

I will just say that thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday, although I do still enjoy it, and I enjoyed "Synecdoche, New York" more than I should have, although I was in a confused mood by the end.

Also I realize that I view my two kittens the same way as I would view most people.

Don't know if that means I view them as human or if I view most people as kittens.

HM.

And now for a convoluted double page spread and a tired, but cute, robot.

damn, I'm pretty sure I had something I wanted to write about a half an hour ago, but I lost it somewhere.

Um.

Well, guess I have to say something.

My cats stare me down ALL THE TIME.

It's not a mean stare, and it's not really loving either.

It's the look a person would give you if they know that you've done something wrong, but just don't have the energy to tell you, and in any case it doesn't effect them.

hm.

Maybe they want me to give them a bath.

oh.

Also minor annoyance of the day.

Listening to "The Castle" as an audiobook, and each section starts with "Thiiiis is AAUuuudible Kiiiiids!!!"

no. NO. I refuse to believe that Kafka's "The Castle" is now counted as a children's book.

:c

I'm going to simplify my prose now.

I went out tonight for the first time in months. It was fun, I talked with strangers and danced with friends, but after awhile I became too aware of how much of a tease the whole place was.

There was too much promise for it to ever deliver, and after going out repeatedly over the summer I had a good sense that this place would be no different.

The previous day had been interesting but draining, reminding me again why I shut myself away and just draw constantly.

Still, if I don't sleep enough tonight I can still get enough work done for tomorrow.

I can't wait until I'm twenty six. Twenty eight maybe.

...

Also I don't like the following pictures as much as I hopefully will, but bear with them for now.

gah.

It is much, much harder to remember my dreams upon waking up than I had previously thought.

the really annoying thing is that I remember them in a flash just upon starting to shower, only to completely forget most of them by the end of the same shower.

Still, I have to sleep a few hours a night anyways, so I might as well keep trying.

...

My business and freelancing teacher made an interesting observation about me while we were working out various weaknesses people in the class had during negotiations (as well as during normal discussion).

Whereas most people became shy, fidgety, or stalled for time during moments where they felt uneasy or the balance of power was shifted, as is the case in most interviews, I displayed a few very different traits.

I was told that I became "naked".

As in, without any kind of filter, I simply said what I was thinking, pushing forwards regardless of whether or not it hurt or helped me.

Ontop of this I was also told that I downplayed my accomplishments and work whenever I could, undercutting what could otherwise be a strong stance even before the other person would have a chance to scrutinize them.

The teacher said that while this could be "endearing" the effect of both of those two traits failed to inspire confidence in whatever it was I was selling at that moment, which in most cases would be both my artwork as well as myself.


My teacher saying these things was not a revelation, I've thought about these traits before and tried to control them, half heartedly and unsuccessfully.

But the fact that another person not only noticed them, but pointed them out as well, was very interesting to me.

Why do I feel so embarrassed when I'm praised, or when I feel that someone might be jealous of me?

Why do I feel the need to tell people everything, regardless of whether or not it hurts or helps their opinion of me?

...

and how would people perceive me if i just changed those two things?

wow.

exhausted, and it's only 11:00.

Did some good work today, but still have another three or so hours before I should be going to sleep.

This post is almost purely procrastination.

Still, I have a bunch of work I've got to do.

...

Maybe I'll go get an ice cream bar.

...

yes.

that is a good idea.

...

ANYWAYS.

um...

I think I'm going to start writing a short story featuring a character from my dreams and posting it here.

I guess I'll do it in increments.

Hopefully I'll write it as soon as I wake up, featuring whatever dream fragments are still floating in my head.

This is mainly going to be a way for me to remember my dreams instead of losing them in the shower every day.

mm. robot universe inner cranial telekinetic exploration drama.

A much better idea~

doing a post in the afternoon rather than 3:00 in the morning!

Also, thaanks for the music tips. I'll be checking them out today.

As for "Fami" I figured I could go into a massive post stating what it is, how it works, and why it'll make me a millionaire...

But then I figured you'd all be bored to tears by a post like that, so I'll just do small updates on it as I move along.

...

So anyways, attached to this post are some heads I'm doing for work/internship, along with a "hero" class squirrel. (also for work/internship)

You know, a main character of sorts.

This job is awesome so far. They do guide me in directions that wouldn't be my first choice, but then again the work I've turned out so far has been pleasantly surprising, so maybe my first choice was a sucky choice anyways.

Hopefully I'll keep being able to balance school and internship art, but I figure my teachers will be fairly understanding as long as I have stuff to show them.

...

Also, had to get my kitties spayed yesterday. They were miserable, and drugged up, and had to wear little collars around their necks.

;_;

They're more up to steam today, but they still have little nude undersides that hopefully aren't embarrassing them too much...

I was worried they'd hate me afterwards, but it seems they've chosen to forgive.

Probably not forget tho'.

Something has been bothering me for awhile now.

It's a problem I haven't had to deal with in years, and even then it was dealt with by my friends and my family.

Sporadically the problem has risen briefly, but I was always able to contain it with a few seconds of help from anyone who happened to be nearby.

But now I can ignore it no longer.

Something has to be done.

yes, my music library is utterly boring to me and virtually all of it has to be replaced.

The biggest problem is that since I only have a few thousand songs I've listened to all of them an absurd amount of times, and they've all come to take on connotations of somebody I no longer am, ontop of the fact that they are no longer exciting or ever surprising.

And yes, I'm still not someone who listens to alot of music, and no, I don't have a favorite band or anything like that.

But all the same I do like to have something to listen to while walking around or as some background noise for a fight scene in my head or something.

So yes.

I guess I'm asking for recommendations.

or something.

maybe.

...

Also!

I've come up with an idea for a toy of sorts that will net me millions.

I've attached a crude schematic to this blog post. Perhaps an I.D. student will build me a model of it, but he has to see how much work he has.

Also attached is the beginnings of a new large picture. It is traced from a collage of some pictures I took.

...

Also a happy cyclops.

tired.

rat= tank (eat cheese for strong bones.)

squirrel= berserker (NUTS!)

pigeon= bomber (millions of years of evolution)

mouse= speedster (andele andele!)

roach= healer (all the better to survive with my dear)

zombots= cyborg zombies (motherbooooarrdss...)

bed now.

NEW GOOD THINGS:

a president that is young, smart, not a douche, and happens to help race relations.

a new harddrive/scratchdisk that makes it so I can work at 30"x30" illustrations at 300 dpi.

a fifty cent raise at work, and my boss telling me that I'm one of the best workers he has, which is kind of ridiculous.

a fantastic schedule for next semester where I've managed to parlay six credits of liberal arts into scientific illustration.

and the final new good thing is...

I managed to swing an internship at a gaming company!

I'm going to be working on concept art for them, and the very first game I was given to do work for features cyborgs, mutants, mad science and a post apocalyptic landscape.

I know right?

Seriously, I could just print out a few pages of my normal doodles and just hand them in.

although that would deprive me of how much fun I'm going to have, so I think I'll refrain.

wee...!

*counterpoint*

BAD THING:

holy crap I'm tired.

Man, can you imagine what's going through obama and mcain's heads right now?

Hell, imagine what Palin is thinking about.

Biden too I guess. haha, nah, but seriously, Biden's cool too.

There really is a perfect storm gathering.

mm.

I bet the stores are going to sell out of alcohol either way.

...

anyways, drew some heads today and did work on some comic stuff too, but I'm just going to post a few heads.

It's very interesting for me to try and draw more realistically, feels like I'm learning alot with every drawing.

haha, god I hope I am.